SLAM!!!

Now, I have an awesome co-worker who also happens to be an old classmate of mine, yes I’m talking about the class of 1993. We were reminiscing of ye olden days. The people, situations and other awesome stuff of the Kid & Play, Technotronic and Teenage mutant Ninja turtles era.  Surprisingly, one particular incident didn't come to light. The tale of how my class and me started  a good old, honest to God riot. Right there in the school Cantina.
 

Now, I hear you asking: 'Doesn't this guy have any present day stories?' Well, of course I do! I'm still failing at a daily basis. Having a job doesn't make my problems magically disappear. I only have one less thing to worry about. As I grow in to an old man, I start to think back, on my many, many failures, my successes and what I have learned from it all. To my shock...I found out I actually know nichts, rien, niets, nada, nothing. Yes, my dear readers, I'm starting back at 1, starting over...what's going on right now? Well, that's a tale for another time. But first...
 

1993.
High school, graduation is around the corner...well actually it's still winter but we are seniors and the world is still an open book for all of us. We talk about all the awesome stuff we are going to do when we leave this wretched hive of scum & villainy we call school. It was a very, normal day. It was cold but the sun did shine, nothing had happened and it was fairly peacfull and quiet in the cantina. A small TV was present and it had MTV (back when they actually still played music on there) on. Nirvana or something was playing and the song ended...than came Onyx...with:

SLAM!!!

I don't know what happened but my classmates and me were like “YEAAAAAHHH!!!” The baseline was pumping and when the chorus came on we were all bouncing are heads and waving our hands. Some guys got up on chairs while others were wildly shaking the tables. The rest of class that stood outside, naturally heard the commotion, came inside and joined in. Fredro Starr wasn't even finished with his lyrics and by than it had turned in to a mosh pit. It was wild, The juniors joined in and than things really got crazy.
 

I swear to God, I saw kids, freshman kids, fly through the air, I than got kicked, and I started to stomp and kick back. I saw one kid get kicked, both his feet flung into the air, I never saw him land cause I was kicked in to the candy vending machine. The Cantina looked like that end fight from that movie The Wanderers. For some strange reason, I saw two classmates try to stuff another kid in between the Cola and candy vending machine. Of course I did what any sane teenager would do...join in! I jumped into the two guys and the kid got pushed in to a space that was humanly impossible to get in between.
 

Hold on...why would anyone actually do that? Let me illustrate...

I'm too lazy to do a detailed drawing.

Now, that I think of it...what the hell were we thinking? Why do that? Why push someone in between two vending machines? Oh, well...young foolish minds I guess. Anyways, I was pushing away, I think the kid was choking and then we heard something crack in the Cola machine and a 'PSHHHHHHHH' kind of sound filled the room. Now, I kid you not...the whole Cantina was empty in like 2 seconds.
 

When we dared to go back in side we discovered that the whole Cantina was flooded with water. I mean really flooded. Naturally, the big wigs at school were not amused, informed our parents, made sure we paid for the broken vending machine, made sure that we did not go on the last school trip for senior students and we were not allowed inside during the breaks...now I did say it was winter, a long cold winter it was indeed. I felt bad ass. I guess I caught the eye of Marriette Du some french last name. Since girls love the bad boys, I got in role 100 percent. Later that year I asked her out. We went to see Flintstones. Naturally the night turned in to FAIL and she told me point blank she wasn't actually interested in me. Me dating Marriette Du some sexy French last name, was doomed from the start! That was the end of my short lived bad boy phase. It eventually would return and evolve in to dirty old man/bad boy phase but that too ended in supreme FAIL.
 

Now, what did we learn from all of that? I'll get back to you when I figure it out. Till than...put on your baseball fury make-up, pick up your baseball bat and start chasing people for no apparent reason.


Till the next instalment of the tragedy of Johnny Madrid.